What people thinks...

So~

My friends thinks I'm a "princess" girl at home. Like not doing any house chores or any stuff by myself.
Well... they didn't know tat most of the house chores in the house is done by me and my mum ONLY. Mum does everything in the house, and I'm the only that's suppose to help. Sweeping, moping, hanging clothes, washing dishes,  wipe the table.
That's all done by me. I find it offensive tat they say I don't help doing hse chores when I'm the one doing all of it, excluding my mum.

Next, most of the people will think tat my mum loved me the most cause I'm the youngest n I'm a girl.
But, they don't know... Sometimes, my mum will talk about how great my brothers are, how their work is going on, how good they were last time, wanting me to make them as my example, wanting me to be as good as them, she's proud of them. She doesn't need to tell me that cause she's constantly praising them in front of me.

Many people think that being the youngest is the best. But it only depends on the family and the parents. For me, the 3 of us don't live that "best", being the eldest, middle or youngest. For my big bro, he has to take an example role of a good brother. For my 2nd bro, he too have to follow the examples and to achieve good results as big bro did. For me, I have to do the same. Being the youngest doesn't mean things go in my way. Last time, I'll have to let brothers to use comp before me. Not they let me. Watching tv too. And when it's holiday,  family gathering,  I'll have to let my younger cousins to play.
That's why they say Life isn't fair.

My parents think that I'm still a child, not knowing anything. But they don't know I know what's happening... ... ..

My far away cousin sister

My cousin sister who is 2 years older than me.

We were close last time.
Each CNY celebration,  we will always be together.  But then as time flows... she started to distant herself.

I remembered once, I cried so hard cause I have to go back and will miss her so much. She was like a big sister to me.

But then everything changes until the 3rd day of CNY.

She was drunk/high and she was staying beside me. I had fun. Because it's like time went back to the days. Except she was being a pain in the ass than a big sister.

She's fun. And I had fun.
Except the part she tells her mum how she feels,  I almost cried, but I quickly went to the toilet to cool myself down.

Anyways,  cousin sis. Thx for the memorable day.! ♥

Drunk

3rd day of CNY, aka my bday.
We went back to Seremban.

My cousin sister which was 2 years older than me got drunk by the night.

Drunk or high, I dunno how to differentiate.

She drank a lot of glass of whiskey.  And so... yeah.

So I have to jaga her and stop her from drinking again. Her mother was asking me if I'm scared or something. Heck.? I got a aunty, who got drunk most of the time. Used to it alrdy.

So I sat beside my cousin and jaga her. She talked a lot and move a lot. Having her to drink Chinese tea was super hard. But Yeahh.. manage to.

A few of us, mostly adults were playing along with her to be high and join her to sing song and all.

She kept hugging me, lying on my lap, my chest and kissing me. -.- not tat I mind, it's ok, actually.  But the part she hit me a few times was freaking pain. -.-"

At last we went home and she went to sleep.

The next day I saw in her instagram saying, "3rd day of CNY, kinda screw it up cause I don't remember half of it "

Birthday

So...

Tuesday, 12/2. 初三。
Was my birthday.

I kinda knew it won't be celebrated cause it's the 3rd day of CNY.

And, only 7 ppl wished me.
They remembered or maybe they saw the post which reminded them.
Either way, thx for the wishes.

As usual, my mum would be the one to wished me. Next was my  mum's sis. Then it's Rui, both in fb n msg. Then, it's Ying in fb, next was kar lok in fb and lastly, it's my senior,  chi yen.

Well...I always know that don't get my hopes too high cause u'll fall harder.

Both of my brothers didn't wished me. And I thought our relationship was better than before.  Guess not, huh. My dad, was with me and mum whole day but he didn't wished me too.

It's ok right. Yeahhhh, it's ok. We have to keep continue to smile right.? 

Last time,  my bday was "celebrated" byy family. By celebrate meant eat dinner together. And nothing else. No cake, no chats, nothing. Only phone and food.

Hahahaha. Isn't it cute... so damn cute isn't it.

My Nanny

Since young, I was not being take care by my parents.  It was my nanny. A chinese nanny.
While both of my bro has an indian nanny.

My nanny is an awesome woman. She's a very good person. I admire her so much and love her. But I never dare to say n probably won't.

My friend lost her nanny just now. I think. And it make me scared. I dont want to lose her. Not her.

Every time after kindergarten, I will go to her hse. And after I grew up, I will often go her hse too.
But now, I visit her very little. Because I find it awkward and boring to be there.

She took care of me and she is the most hardworking person I've ever known.

I remember once I woke up real early, I was holding my bolster sitting on the stairs looking at my nanny doing house chores and taking care of everything in the house. I felt warm and went to sleep back on the stairs.

She is a very important person to me. I love her a lot. She means a lot to me.

I wish and hope she'll live a long and happy life. ♥

Love you forever,  my one and only nanny. ♥

Piss off.

I thought. U know, dad tried to chg.

Cause he helped me took my tuition bag once this year. And he was suddenly giving pocket money willingly without me asking for it.

And my mum. I thought she chg too.
Cause she received less phone calls. That I know of. And she wanted to take me to eat my fav dinner.

But 2day. Everything was back. Every single stupid thing is back. Dad is being his usual self again. Being an ass and annoy me around.
Mum is going out more than 15 times at night in January.

U know. Fug this, fug tat. I hate this shit.

Annoyed

My mum is the one who said family is more important than frenz.
But most of the night, she herself always go out with her frenz.

My dad. Being an asshole as usual.
Always irritating me ALL the way.
I thought he'd chg. But NO.
It was all a fuggin lie.

I was never close with my parents when I'm in primary sch. Never.
Because my time at home is super less. Every time when I've reach home. Its alrdy nigt. And there's tons of h/w to do n stuff to memorize.

When its weekend,  I'll play with the neighbours boys but not my brothers.

My brothers and I never played with each other. I only remember when I was little I always argue with my 2nd bro. My big bro, it's like he's not even in the family.  It's like he doesn't even bother.

So I very appreciate my friends n dun wan to lose them. Cause my family is not like a family at all.
It's juz like strangers with identity living through it.