Actually there's more than one reason that I never drove after I passed my driving test. I just keep making myself believe that's what I've been thinking.
First of all, the advantages of being able to drive by yourself..
1, you can go anywhere you want.
2, you can fetch anyone you want without complaints.
3, it's very convenient.
4, you don't need permission.
5, don't hv to sit public transport.
But all those advantages... brings negative effects...
My family already has communication problems... I don't want to lose mine.
I still want to try to communicate with them, even when they don't give responds.
1, If i can go anywhere I want... I'm afraid one day, when I broke down and can't stand it anymore.. I would just drive to somewhere else... and that would make everyone worry, well, almost everyone. I'm afraid that one day, I would just leave them because I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't wanna leave them, but i know when one starts to lose their control, they do stuff without thinking, I don't want that. Thus, I was afraid.
2, I might fetch someone I'm not suppose to. No more excuses to not fetch anyone anymore.
3, Conveniet yea... no argument to that. LOL.
4, I might forget to get permission from my parents, or forget to let them know where I am. This is the communication thingy. My brothers never told my parents where they went, and I could see them worry sometimes and wanting to know but they never gave a direct answers. I don't want to be like that. But I might forget. I don't want that. To notice them where I'm going, when I'll be back. I want to inform them without them asking me when they're worried. I don't want them to worry abt me when they clearly have lots of things in their mind.
5, I might forget how to be civilize. Like being a good person. Showing ppl the correct way to the station. Letting old people to sit when there's no other places for them to sit down. To smile at strangers like giving a greetings. This world is already too dark, I somehow want to light it up. Even if it's useless, but at least I think I'm doing the right thing.
The reason I always used was my mum... hahahaha...
She doesn't allow me to drive alone and she doesn't want to sit beside me when I'm driving.
So she says I should ask my dad to sit beside me...
AND she doesn't allow me to drive in the dark, at night. PLUS, weekdays my dad is only at home AT NIGHT. So that left Saturday and Sunday... Sunday kinda out cause most of the time we have family gatherings. So that left Saturday, where I might go out with friends ( can't drive alone yet without parents so nope ) , or out with mum ( she doesn't want to sit beside me ), or I wanna watch my anime and read my manga.. ( me being lazy )
But most of all,
Not being able to drive is like a restriction I put on myself... something like a leash, I don't want myself to run away. Heehee... yeaaaa....
Sunday, 14 December 2014
Don't judge a book by its cover
At first I was pissed at my mum for applying girls need to do chores
concept. I know we should always learn about it, still sometimes I'd
feel unfair but I understand... It still doesn't mean I wouldn't feel a
thing. But then you went and complimented me when I did them. And I was
like... "yay, she complimented me" not angry anymore.. haizz...
sometimes, my mum held lots of power over me.
People always think that I don't help around the house. And that my brothers are the helpful ones. Because when everyone's around, my parents treat me like a princess. They don't know I was the one that sweep the house. My mum doesn't really sweeps the floor unless she finds it dirty. The men in the hse don't give a shit. I helped to wash the dishes too, even when they're not mine. I always did help, what abt them.? no they didn't, but everyone looks at them with that eyes that sees them the perfect children that anyone could hv, and me.? an extra in the family. They only wash what is theirs that's it... at least better than not doing... i guess..
Then I iron my own school uniforms when my mum irons for both of my brothers until they graduated. And I iron my own school uniforms until I graduated. I hang my own clothes in my closet. When mum folds their clothes and brings them to their respective rooms. And when they needed clothes, they would search the piles on the sofa and leave, not bothering taking the rest of their own clothes with them.
I helped to take in and hang out the clothes when mum's not around, and even if everyone's at home, my mum only called me for help. I even went to help them wash their clothes when mum went to Korea AND I was having SPM.
It's really unfair that no one sees the work I've done but look at me like a little princess that doesn't do anything at home. And even when I told them, they don't even believe me. Well then, fug u too. They all think that my brothers are much more perfect than me until where sometimes I would even look down at myself.
I helped my mum every time after events in our home, what did everyone else do.? NOTHING. They just go back to their own room. But in the end... what did i get.. nothing. Why.? Because everyone judges a book by its cover.
And my mother... every time people said some offensive things or indicate that on my brothers.. she defends them.. but when it comes to me, she just let them say it...
I don't know whether to cry or not.
People always think that I don't help around the house. And that my brothers are the helpful ones. Because when everyone's around, my parents treat me like a princess. They don't know I was the one that sweep the house. My mum doesn't really sweeps the floor unless she finds it dirty. The men in the hse don't give a shit. I helped to wash the dishes too, even when they're not mine. I always did help, what abt them.? no they didn't, but everyone looks at them with that eyes that sees them the perfect children that anyone could hv, and me.? an extra in the family. They only wash what is theirs that's it... at least better than not doing... i guess..
Then I iron my own school uniforms when my mum irons for both of my brothers until they graduated. And I iron my own school uniforms until I graduated. I hang my own clothes in my closet. When mum folds their clothes and brings them to their respective rooms. And when they needed clothes, they would search the piles on the sofa and leave, not bothering taking the rest of their own clothes with them.
I helped to take in and hang out the clothes when mum's not around, and even if everyone's at home, my mum only called me for help. I even went to help them wash their clothes when mum went to Korea AND I was having SPM.
It's really unfair that no one sees the work I've done but look at me like a little princess that doesn't do anything at home. And even when I told them, they don't even believe me. Well then, fug u too. They all think that my brothers are much more perfect than me until where sometimes I would even look down at myself.
I helped my mum every time after events in our home, what did everyone else do.? NOTHING. They just go back to their own room. But in the end... what did i get.. nothing. Why.? Because everyone judges a book by its cover.
And my mother... every time people said some offensive things or indicate that on my brothers.. she defends them.. but when it comes to me, she just let them say it...
I don't know whether to cry or not.
Friday, 21 November 2014
Naruto's ending
Honestly... I still don't know if I'm happy with the ending or not... =.=
I've been reading Naruto manga since I'm in primary school. And I only watch a few episodes of Naruto anime in Animax and I've watched most of the OVA[s]...
Before I went on rambling how I feel... a small introduction of the main characters.
I've been reading Naruto manga since I'm in primary school. And I only watch a few episodes of Naruto anime in Animax and I've watched most of the OVA[s]...
Before I went on rambling how I feel... a small introduction of the main characters.
Uzumaki Naruto
Uchiha Sasuke
Haruno Sakura
I really like Team 7 a lot.. as in A LOT.
But somehow I kinda pity Sai that he got left out.
Okay, let's get down to business... I'm gonna start my rant here.
First of all, put all your stupid hates on Sakura for those haters out there and look closely in this whole manga... I mean, I have been shipping the pairings of SasuSaku but then slowly the more chapters it goes, the more episodes it goes, they show more and more of NaruSaku and don't even deny it, haters. Put away your hates and look closely PLEASE. Kishimosto showed so many NaruSaku. AND THEN, I started to accept NaruSaku pairings. Plus, when Kushina and Minato moment showed signs of NaruSaku, I gave up on SasuSaku and support NaruSaku. BUT WHAT THE HELL. In the end, it just went NaruHina and SasuSaku. No hates on Hinata, I like Hinata but Whaaaaaaat... There's more, a lot more scenes that indicates NaruSaku but it just POOF, BOOM, POWWW, NaruHina and SasuSaku. I seriously got blank and no idea if I should be happy or not.
Many said that Hinata deserves Naruto more than Sakura. But do you really think that the word deserves belongs in love life.? I don't think so, when we like someone, we chased after them, we don't really care who deserves who because in the end, love is all that matters. And for the character Naruto, he has been chasing after Sakura and his dream of being Hokage... and it just suddenly poooffff, no more Sakura. Isn't it like a super JUMP. =o=
And Sakura haters, I don't mind if u hate her for her being annoying or a fangirl or whatever. But I don't get why u would say she's useless.. SHE IS NOT. I mean come on, give the girl a break. She comes from a CIVILIAN family, no kekkai genkai, unlike Uzumaki ( lots of chakra ), Uchiha ( Sharingan ), Hyuuga ( Byakugan ), Aburame ( Insects ), Inuzuka ( Dogs ), Yamanaka ( Mind ), Nara ( Shadow ). Do I need to freaking list on.? SHE DOESN"T HAVE ANY BASE. She works from a zero, from a complete sketch.
Other than that, she's smart.! She answers her chunnin paper exam fast compare to other ninja. She realized there's a genjutsu placed on the stairway. Even when she's not that skilled in ninja fighting, she still protected her teammates. She set traps, she plans ahead. So what she needed help, Naruto and Sasuke needed help too, I don't see anyone calling them useless. During the VS tournament, she got par with Ino, the one that has a technique. If Sakura's useless, then what about Ino.? She has the mind technique but she still fails. ( I don't dislike Ino, so I'm sorry if this comes out in a wrong way )
Next, she fought with Akatsuki member too, Sasori. Yes, she had help from the grandma, but if she isn't smart enough to bring along the antidote that she made after SAVING Kankuro's life, even if the grandma's skill, they won't be able to win. Sakura learn from a scratch, Kakashi only taught her those simple basic ninja chakra control, while he taught Sasuke Chidori. Jiraiya went to taught Naruto, Sasuke went to Orochimaru, and Sakura learn under Tsunade.
The last few chapters where the final war begins... Kishimoto even made few characters to compliment on Sakura. BUT you guys are still being ignorant and STILL saying she's useless. URGHHH.. what is wrong with you guys. She gets the Byakugou in 3 years while Shizune isn't able to. So, is Shizune more useless than Sakura.? No. Then why do you say Sakura's useless... Hashirama even say that Sakura's level might be even more than Tsunade's, and a few said that she has the ability to surpass Tsunade. SO TELL ME, is Tsunade useless.?!
She even manages to find out that Zetsu acting as Neji is a fraud. She didn't need Naruto to help her find that out, she didn't need Byakugan to see who's friend or foe that time. Tsunade and Sakura technically healed everyone in that damn war and you still say she's useless. She even save Naruto's life for god's sake. I can go on and on... But really, ship whatever pairings you want, but why even bash on Sakura that she's useless urgghhhhhh... Hinata and Sakura are such good friends and the VS war between Hinata and Sakura is just.. urghhhhh.. whyyyyyyy.
I'm still disappointed in the pairings though... after all the NaruSaku momentsssssssssss and Sakura saving Naruto through CPR.. it didn't mean a thing... And after Karin saving Sasuke, Karin didn't appear anymore.. LOL..
they should just deflect from Konoha and make a new country. HAHAHAHAHA.. jk~
when people ask~
Friday, 14 November 2014
最懂我的人 （ 钟盛忠 & 钟晓玉 )
呃，没有试过用华语来表达这种情绪过。所以，有点怪怪的。好像不知是一点， 还真的是奇怪到不行了啦。打华语字好难，很辛苦，真的是。自己在自作自受。*泪崩*
这是自己想跟最懂我的人写的啦，虽然不知道他们会看没有。没关系！自己写，自己爽。这也是听了这首歌才打算想要献这首歌给他们啦。说说下还蛮不好意识， 哈哈哈哈哈。 白痴
哦我。
这首歌呢，不懂啦，总之就是给最懂我的你们。
没有人像你在我的心底, 留一个特别的角落给你
好天气 暴风雨, 不见不散的关心
我幸福 我怀疑,
都留下你的见证
就是没有想到遇见你们可以，关系可以变得这么亲密。因为啊，越亲密的关系呢，就会越在乎你们啊，所以有时候还是有些疏离。遇见你们的时候， 虽然不同的人我有不同的想法。但是，时间过了呢，就很想很想像我妈能和她的朋友一样。永远保持联络，得空都会出来聊聊天。真的很希望我们的友谊能长久。
最懂我的你，明天还是要继续
爱给了我们，雪亮的眼睛
最懂我的人，我也要好好珍惜
在多变的世界里， 只有真心是不变的距离
谢谢你们一路的陪伴哦。与你们在一起的回忆还真是棒死了。一起狡猾的日子，一起懒惰的时候，一起紧张，一起快乐，一起悲伤。嘻嘻，幼稚的行为都没停过噢，你们最棒了！谢谢啦~ 切记，别忘了我。不然我真是下地狱，上天堂都把你跟我找出来，赔一赔。赔什么？那当然是你的寿命。呵呵呵。切记哦~
好事情 坏心情，你是第一手消息
我坚强 我叹息，都有你温暖回应
谢谢你 给了我 比更多还更多
无可取代的意义
我知道你们都会一直在我身边。谢谢你们的关心，但是那些欺负人的话就不必了。哈哈哈哈，真的，我想念的不是它们。嗯。用华语真的超级难表达啦。
希望你 祝福你，一辈子手牵手要一直走下去
希望你们能找到你们的唯一，然后幸福地活下去。可是，不要重色轻友嘛。我最重要，听到吗，噢，不对，看到吗？！
最懂我的你，明天还是要继续
爱若是空气，我就能呼吸
最懂我的人，请你要好好珍惜
在多变的世界里
只有相信是不变的决定
只有真心是不变的距离
希望我们的友谊不会变，要变的话就该变得更加亲密。真的很幸运能遇见你们。
最懂我的你，明天还是要继续
最懂我的人，我也要好好珍惜
在多变的世界里， 只有真心是不变的距离
好事情 坏心情，你是第一手消息
我坚强 我叹息，都有你温暖回应
谢谢你 给了我 比更多还更多
无可取代的意义
我知道你们都会一直在我身边。谢谢你们的关心，但是那些欺负人的话就不必了。哈哈哈哈，真的，我想念的不是它们。嗯。用华语真的超级难表达啦。
希望你 祝福你，一辈子手牵手要一直走下去
希望你们能找到你们的唯一，然后幸福地活下去。可是，不要重色轻友嘛。我最重要，听到吗，噢，不对，看到吗？！
最懂我的人，请你要好好珍惜
Saturday, 27 September 2014
Appreciation ~5~
This would be the last one...
I'm kinda rushing this cause my college gonna start soon.
haish. troublesome...
So here it goes...
My mum,
Hahahaha.. It's funny how we understand each other and get to back each other up. It's like we understand each other's thoughts and know when to do what and not. And we always get to finish our sentences for each other and we think of the same thing at the same time.. We even speak out the same thing at the same time.. If I would to play Jinx game with you.. It's be like more than 5 times a day. xD
You don't know how to comfort me. Like wise, maybe that's why I dunno how to comfort other people too.. -.- Last time, when I cried in front of u, u never do anything or say anything and said that I'm a crybaby.. =.= So I guess the only time now I'd cry in front of u is when I'm watching sad movies or something.
You always appreciate your friends so much that I... well nvm.
Thank you for being like a friend to me. Even though you boom me occasionally even when it's not my fault. And even though u like to put blame on me and nag me so much when you don't do that to brothers. Thank you for teaching me LIFE. I love you~ hahaha.. thanks for everything. I love you a lot ya. xD sakaiii.
My nanny,
Thank you for taking care of me since I'm an infant. Thank you for your patience and love. Thank you for showing me how to keep on going and stay strong. Thanks for the first person ever to know that I'm not that strong as I look. Thanks for everything, mama. I love you a lot. I want to hug you so hard you won't forget about me ever. I'm glad I still get to visit you once in a while and when someone came by, you would proudly introduce me , saying in cantonese " this is the girl who i took care of when she's a baby and now she's studying college. " Thank you so much. I love your meal even if it's not much. I love you lots.
My brotherS,
thank you for giving me monthly expenses. 2nd bro, thank you for treating mummy and I meals. Big bro, thank you for even talking to me. I really miss the old times where you guys play games and I would watch besides you guys. And u guys would give comments and I'd replied happily.
My dad,
well... you're annoying and irritating. I've been meet someone who can annoyed this much. Thank you for taking care of me and giving us a shelter to live in. I know you manja me the most. I don't why you like to purposely irritate me and I'd just boom you. But I kinda pity you. hahahaha.. sad case for u little dude. since you not only irritates me but everyone as well. And probably got to do with ur arrogant attitude of yours. I sympathize you sometimes and I would be gentle to u. But nooooo, you would like to step over the boundary and pissed me off. But thank you for everything.
Nurul,
You're one screwed up friend I ever made. You're also the longest friends I ever made which we do not even go to the same school even once. I know you since I'm standard one and you're standard two. We got lots of funny, weird and random memories.. But I'm glad I get to know you. You're a good friend if I look closely enough. Thank you for being my friend.
My yiyi[s] and aunty :
Eldest yiyi,
Thank you for treating me meals and giving me new clothes. Many says that I looked like you and you're like a "kai ma" to me. Heehee....
Second yiyi,
Thank you for trying to chat up with me about random stuff even though it's awkward sometimes talking to you.. I don't know whyyyy.
Youngest yiyi,
HAHAHAHA.. you random yiyi. You're super fun to be around with. You should be grateful that I'm around when you're that super drunk. Cause I'm the only who's not panic and annoyed taking care of you. It's always fun when you're around. But some people may not like your attitude though. Heehee
Aunty, my mum's little bro's wife,
Thank you for your wonderful meals. Your cooking is awesome.. LIKE SUPER AWESOME. I don't think my friends will believe how much I eat when I was staying at your hse for one week. And thank you for that. Being a driver and giving me a temporary place to stay which is near my college. Heehee.. Thanks~
I'm kinda rushing this cause my college gonna start soon.
haish. troublesome...
So here it goes...
My mum,
Hahahaha.. It's funny how we understand each other and get to back each other up. It's like we understand each other's thoughts and know when to do what and not. And we always get to finish our sentences for each other and we think of the same thing at the same time.. We even speak out the same thing at the same time.. If I would to play Jinx game with you.. It's be like more than 5 times a day. xD
You don't know how to comfort me. Like wise, maybe that's why I dunno how to comfort other people too.. -.- Last time, when I cried in front of u, u never do anything or say anything and said that I'm a crybaby.. =.= So I guess the only time now I'd cry in front of u is when I'm watching sad movies or something.
You always appreciate your friends so much that I... well nvm.
Thank you for being like a friend to me. Even though you boom me occasionally even when it's not my fault. And even though u like to put blame on me and nag me so much when you don't do that to brothers. Thank you for teaching me LIFE. I love you~ hahaha.. thanks for everything. I love you a lot ya. xD sakaiii.
My nanny,
Thank you for taking care of me since I'm an infant. Thank you for your patience and love. Thank you for showing me how to keep on going and stay strong. Thanks for the first person ever to know that I'm not that strong as I look. Thanks for everything, mama. I love you a lot. I want to hug you so hard you won't forget about me ever. I'm glad I still get to visit you once in a while and when someone came by, you would proudly introduce me , saying in cantonese " this is the girl who i took care of when she's a baby and now she's studying college. " Thank you so much. I love your meal even if it's not much. I love you lots.
My brotherS,
thank you for giving me monthly expenses. 2nd bro, thank you for treating mummy and I meals. Big bro, thank you for even talking to me. I really miss the old times where you guys play games and I would watch besides you guys. And u guys would give comments and I'd replied happily.
My dad,
well... you're annoying and irritating. I've been meet someone who can annoyed this much. Thank you for taking care of me and giving us a shelter to live in. I know you manja me the most. I don't why you like to purposely irritate me and I'd just boom you. But I kinda pity you. hahahaha.. sad case for u little dude. since you not only irritates me but everyone as well. And probably got to do with ur arrogant attitude of yours. I sympathize you sometimes and I would be gentle to u. But nooooo, you would like to step over the boundary and pissed me off. But thank you for everything.
Nurul,
You're one screwed up friend I ever made. You're also the longest friends I ever made which we do not even go to the same school even once. I know you since I'm standard one and you're standard two. We got lots of funny, weird and random memories.. But I'm glad I get to know you. You're a good friend if I look closely enough. Thank you for being my friend.
My yiyi[s] and aunty :
Eldest yiyi,
Thank you for treating me meals and giving me new clothes. Many says that I looked like you and you're like a "kai ma" to me. Heehee....
Second yiyi,
Thank you for trying to chat up with me about random stuff even though it's awkward sometimes talking to you.. I don't know whyyyy.
Youngest yiyi,
HAHAHAHA.. you random yiyi. You're super fun to be around with. You should be grateful that I'm around when you're that super drunk. Cause I'm the only who's not panic and annoyed taking care of you. It's always fun when you're around. But some people may not like your attitude though. Heehee
Aunty, my mum's little bro's wife,
Thank you for your wonderful meals. Your cooking is awesome.. LIKE SUPER AWESOME. I don't think my friends will believe how much I eat when I was staying at your hse for one week. And thank you for that. Being a driver and giving me a temporary place to stay which is near my college. Heehee.. Thanks~
Friday, 26 September 2014
Appreciation ~4~
College time peeps...
First of all... of course my beloved classmates which consist of only 4 people in the begining...
But somehow became 3 people in the second semester...
We were once called " The Fantastic Four " then we became " The Legendary Sanin ".
My class rep, J.L.W.J... which decide to leave us to another college~
You're not a very gentlemen to me. But you're very fun to be around with.
It's always funny and exciting to be around you because you crack up jokes and stuff.
You're like the joker in our class... You're more like a little brother to me than an elder brother.
You're cheeky and naughty... haishhh and childish. hahahaha
But thank you for making it always fun and look forward to class.
My assistant class rep, C.S.M...
You're smart and kind. You have the patience of a... cloud.? I dunno. You don't get mad easily and you take care of everyone like they're a family to you. And you treat me like a little sister you never had and I'm very happy and touch about that. You would call me "little sis" now and then even and that's very thoughtful. You would say " yo, nii-san's here " to me and that's really really touching.
Thank you so much for taking care of us. You're the best.
My friend, E.M...
You seem like the quiet type of guy... But when you start talking about stuff you're interested in, you won't stop talking. And you're someone that isn't that mentally strong so I hope you get through it one day with a strong mind. It's awkward if I'm left being alone with you, I don't know why.. probably cause we don't talk much. You like to tease me -.- which is kinda annoying.. but then you'd treat me like a little sister... but the kind that find little sister is annoying.. =w=
Then~ the coursemates... we share classes together on some subjects.
Girls first ya,
Mariam,
Thank you in trying to break the awkwardness around me and the girls and tried to make me feel comfortable around you girls.Thanks for making conversation for me so that I have chance to voice out. Thank you for chatting with me. I admire how you're always helping out your friends despite what it is. Like a heroine. (Y) Heehee.
Y.C.C,
I'm not sure it's you or A.K.P.M, that the first question you girls ever asked me is " do you like yaoi.? " Hahahahaha.. You're very blur and slow. But I like it, cause it's super weird and funny and cute. It's interesting. It's fun chatting with you too especially when we're bullying Jay jay. xD U don't treat me like an outsider and always try to be honest. Thank you. =)
A.K.P.M,
Thank you for thinking about me every time you girls plan an outing or something.. and inviting me to join in your selfies... It's very thoughtful. Thank you~~ <3
T.Y.Y.,
First person that I met in class. And we found out that we want to study the same thing in degree.
Had a lot of fun chatting with you because you're very straight forward and a lot of stories to tell.
It makes it really easy to talk to you. Thanks.
M.W.Y,
I didn't really get to talk to u but I admire how u are in taekwando black belt. When I first found out, I was so shock and unable to believe it. Heehee... Sorry... You like to read novels too and your voice is cute. hahahaha...
C.Y.L.,
Went to karaoke with you before and found out that you like to dance a lot.
I admire how you're so determine in improving your English and work so hard.
I feel like a loser there. But at the moment, I felt proud too. No idea why.. but... thanks for doing that so that I won't be boastful about myself.
Guys' turn~
Jayson,
Wahahahahaa... thank you so much for chatting with me all the time about anime and games and stuff. It means a lot.. because not many ppl I can share about anime with. So it's a great pleasure in chatting with you about Japanese stuff. Thanks for helping me out too, I know you watch out for me. Hahahaha. Thanks.!
Winson,
Another anime friend~ x3 But too bad you left our college and went to another. Eishhh..
We chatted a lot and I found out about you and your stuff and your beliefs.
Thank you in believing in me and willing to talk to me about it.
It's also very fun when we combo attack in teasing Jayson. Hahahaha...
L.C.L,
Thank you for finding me and chat about your stuff... Even though it's not much.
But you take some of your time and chat with me about stuff. =D thank you~
F.Y,
thank you for being my driver... hahaha.. so that i don't have to sit in the trains like a sorpo. xD
Joshua,
thanks for willing to chat with me about random stuff and include me in your conversations. =)
T.Z.W,
Thanks for lending me your tutorial and teaching me stuff.. xD
First of all... of course my beloved classmates which consist of only 4 people in the begining...
But somehow became 3 people in the second semester...
We were once called " The Fantastic Four " then we became " The Legendary Sanin ".
My class rep, J.L.W.J... which decide to leave us to another college~
You're not a very gentlemen to me. But you're very fun to be around with.
It's always funny and exciting to be around you because you crack up jokes and stuff.
You're like the joker in our class... You're more like a little brother to me than an elder brother.
You're cheeky and naughty... haishhh and childish. hahahaha
But thank you for making it always fun and look forward to class.
My assistant class rep, C.S.M...
You're smart and kind. You have the patience of a... cloud.? I dunno. You don't get mad easily and you take care of everyone like they're a family to you. And you treat me like a little sister you never had and I'm very happy and touch about that. You would call me "little sis" now and then even and that's very thoughtful. You would say " yo, nii-san's here " to me and that's really really touching.
Thank you so much for taking care of us. You're the best.
My friend, E.M...
You seem like the quiet type of guy... But when you start talking about stuff you're interested in, you won't stop talking. And you're someone that isn't that mentally strong so I hope you get through it one day with a strong mind. It's awkward if I'm left being alone with you, I don't know why.. probably cause we don't talk much. You like to tease me -.- which is kinda annoying.. but then you'd treat me like a little sister... but the kind that find little sister is annoying.. =w=
Then~ the coursemates... we share classes together on some subjects.
Girls first ya,
Mariam,
Thank you in trying to break the awkwardness around me and the girls and tried to make me feel comfortable around you girls.Thanks for making conversation for me so that I have chance to voice out. Thank you for chatting with me. I admire how you're always helping out your friends despite what it is. Like a heroine. (Y) Heehee.
Y.C.C,
I'm not sure it's you or A.K.P.M, that the first question you girls ever asked me is " do you like yaoi.? " Hahahahaha.. You're very blur and slow. But I like it, cause it's super weird and funny and cute. It's interesting. It's fun chatting with you too especially when we're bullying Jay jay. xD U don't treat me like an outsider and always try to be honest. Thank you. =)
A.K.P.M,
Thank you for thinking about me every time you girls plan an outing or something.. and inviting me to join in your selfies... It's very thoughtful. Thank you~~ <3
T.Y.Y.,
First person that I met in class. And we found out that we want to study the same thing in degree.
Had a lot of fun chatting with you because you're very straight forward and a lot of stories to tell.
It makes it really easy to talk to you. Thanks.
M.W.Y,
I didn't really get to talk to u but I admire how u are in taekwando black belt. When I first found out, I was so shock and unable to believe it. Heehee... Sorry... You like to read novels too and your voice is cute. hahahaha...
C.Y.L.,
Went to karaoke with you before and found out that you like to dance a lot.
I admire how you're so determine in improving your English and work so hard.
I feel like a loser there. But at the moment, I felt proud too. No idea why.. but... thanks for doing that so that I won't be boastful about myself.
Guys' turn~
Jayson,
Wahahahahaa... thank you so much for chatting with me all the time about anime and games and stuff. It means a lot.. because not many ppl I can share about anime with. So it's a great pleasure in chatting with you about Japanese stuff. Thanks for helping me out too, I know you watch out for me. Hahahaha. Thanks.!
Winson,
Another anime friend~ x3 But too bad you left our college and went to another. Eishhh..
We chatted a lot and I found out about you and your stuff and your beliefs.
Thank you in believing in me and willing to talk to me about it.
It's also very fun when we combo attack in teasing Jayson. Hahahaha...
L.C.L,
Thank you for finding me and chat about your stuff... Even though it's not much.
But you take some of your time and chat with me about stuff. =D thank you~
F.Y,
thank you for being my driver... hahaha.. so that i don't have to sit in the trains like a sorpo. xD
Joshua,
thanks for willing to chat with me about random stuff and include me in your conversations. =)
T.Z.W,
Thanks for lending me your tutorial and teaching me stuff.. xD
Appreciation ~3~ part 2
To continue...
I just wanted to separate family-like friends and normal friends ( close, hi-bye etc )
Wow... once I separate them.. It's like I'm super biased.. xD HAHAHAH
wtfff.. I sound so bitchy.. but whatever.. it's my blog..
Just Listen, Read and Pay Attention. xP *blek*
Hahahaha.. Yo, I.Y.Y.L.
The first ever guy friend that I called and then cried. xD HAHAHAHAHA...
Ok.. this is embarrassing... Thanks for always listening to me and giving me encouragement words.
Thanks for trying to cheer me up and understands me. It meant a lot.
A..hahahahaaaa... I bet you freaked out when I asked if you mind I called even if I'm crying.
You said you don't but I do. So I thought I'd cried my heart out and went to bath, I would feel much better. But apparently I was so wrong... because once I called you and started " I'm sorry I'd call you because my friends are busy and ----- " I broke down and cry and sobs and cry and sobs and explained. Hahahaha.. FIRST TIME EVER WEIH. Damn embarrassing.. Really.... Thanks for listening to me all the time. I really appreciate it. Once again, thanks for being there for me when I'm broken, thanks for chatting random stuff with me and thanks for encouraging me and understanding.
Next~ x3 C.S.W
Hahahahaaha... Funny dude... any topics and jump in when talking to you. Our topic won't end. xD
Thanks for always being so cheerful and willing to chat with me. Listens to my problem and being the funny and open guy. xD
thanks L.S.Y ,
to know what to say and always teasing each other. It's fun hanging around with you. <3
thanks L.Y.T ,
always smile when meeting me and being a gentle and kind girl to me. I'm glad to meet you <3
thanks W.W.Y,
always there for me to hug and for me to pamper like a little sister I don't have. And always being cheeky and helping me out in teasing JL.
Then~ S.A.B.S.
First malay male friend I ever made and you're mixed. xD
hahahaha.. It's been a great pleasure and fun to be your neighbor seat because it's fun to have you around. I'm sorry for always accidentally speaking to you in chinese because you look more like chinese.. x'D Thank you for making staying in class not that bored but always fun and exciting.
C.S.H,
I don't know why I admire you a lot. xD I like to call you jie jie since you're one day older than me. Heehee... I kinda looked up to you... so thanks for being there. =) it's fun chatting with you heehee.
Special thanks to Mango, T.Y.L and Y.Z.F,
for making during exam period a fun time for me. for relaxing me in exam because I'm always super nervous during examination. and thank you for making me laugh all the time. You guys rock. x)
Lastly, Y.S.K
Thanks for being a great friend. I really like you and hope we still get along well like last time.
I miss you~ Long time didn't go out together edi and long time didn't go crash your hse edi.
You have no idea how much you meant to be. x3 I really hope we still get along~
I just wanted to separate family-like friends and normal friends ( close, hi-bye etc )
Wow... once I separate them.. It's like I'm super biased.. xD HAHAHAH
wtfff.. I sound so bitchy.. but whatever.. it's my blog..
Just Listen, Read and Pay Attention. xP *blek*
The first ever guy friend that I called and then cried. xD HAHAHAHAHA...
Ok.. this is embarrassing... Thanks for always listening to me and giving me encouragement words.
Thanks for trying to cheer me up and understands me. It meant a lot.
A..hahahahaaaa... I bet you freaked out when I asked if you mind I called even if I'm crying.
You said you don't but I do. So I thought I'd cried my heart out and went to bath, I would feel much better. But apparently I was so wrong... because once I called you and started " I'm sorry I'd call you because my friends are busy and ----- " I broke down and cry and sobs and cry and sobs and explained. Hahahaha.. FIRST TIME EVER WEIH. Damn embarrassing.. Really.... Thanks for listening to me all the time. I really appreciate it. Once again, thanks for being there for me when I'm broken, thanks for chatting random stuff with me and thanks for encouraging me and understanding.
Next~ x3 C.S.W
Hahahahaaha... Funny dude... any topics and jump in when talking to you. Our topic won't end. xD
Thanks for always being so cheerful and willing to chat with me. Listens to my problem and being the funny and open guy. xD
thanks L.S.Y ,
to know what to say and always teasing each other. It's fun hanging around with you. <3
thanks L.Y.T ,
always smile when meeting me and being a gentle and kind girl to me. I'm glad to meet you <3
thanks W.W.Y,
always there for me to hug and for me to pamper like a little sister I don't have. And always being cheeky and helping me out in teasing JL.
Then~ S.A.B.S.
First malay male friend I ever made and you're mixed. xD
hahahaha.. It's been a great pleasure and fun to be your neighbor seat because it's fun to have you around. I'm sorry for always accidentally speaking to you in chinese because you look more like chinese.. x'D Thank you for making staying in class not that bored but always fun and exciting.
C.S.H,
I don't know why I admire you a lot. xD I like to call you jie jie since you're one day older than me. Heehee... I kinda looked up to you... so thanks for being there. =) it's fun chatting with you heehee.
Special thanks to Mango, T.Y.L and Y.Z.F,
for making during exam period a fun time for me. for relaxing me in exam because I'm always super nervous during examination. and thank you for making me laugh all the time. You guys rock. x)
Lastly, Y.S.K
Thanks for being a great friend. I really like you and hope we still get along well like last time.
I miss you~ Long time didn't go out together edi and long time didn't go crash your hse edi.
You have no idea how much you meant to be. x3 I really hope we still get along~
Appreciation ~3~ part 1
Kindergarten times done~
Primary school times done~
Now it's Secondary school~ Hahahahaha.. awkward~~~
So of course... I'm writing Pudding first... *scratches the back of my head*
This is troublesome.... So erm.. you guys. Just read then can edi.
Don't give me looks or something... -w-
First off, surely it's L.T.J...
Erm.. so her size is like a chibi size and since she's a Libra.. there you go. We were in the same class in form 1 and it was during PJK period that I noticed her cause everyone ( chinese girl gang ) are commenting on her. Then I was like.. " Wowwww, she's really good in sports. " and my eyes kind of sparkle with admiration... -.- I bet she's gonna be so cocky right now reading this. But then I got to know her, yea she's good, but the thing is.. She is SUPER mcc.. Until I seriously have no comment on how mcc she was. IS. She still is. At first, she was really really not good with guys. I mean, every time a guy that oppose what she's saying she'll get super competitive. It's like each guy walks pass by she'll give a killer glare look " YOU DESPISE ME "... I didn't really care that much since... O.O huh.. I dunno. There's one time, she slapped a guy with a book with a super fast reflex to help me. Hahahaa... I was super stunned and shocked... and just mind went blank for a while. Well, she's the first to know all my stuff. I'm glad I met you. =) You're awesome. Just don't get too cocky with the compliments and wag your tail too much. She's been there for me the longest time I think. She's also the first who understands most of what I'm doing or thinking I guess.. Which sometimes is kind of irritating because I'm not used to it. But well, Thank you. <3 Lao po.
Next~ my beloved H.R.Y
Just in case you didn't notice, the anime girl is wearing a jacket that symbolizes Aries... in my opinion. so your argument is invalid. I've always wanted to be a close friend with you since the day I know you. But that time, I'm still not used to be a "zhu dong" type... I'm still kind of in my own shell and comfort zone. So I guess that's why we were not that close yet. But still, I tried. I invite you to do stuff together.. I hope that didn't kinda tear you apart from your that current friends. Then slowly, I've been learning to be more outgoing, more "talkative" and spend more time with you. BUT then... there's a time where I gave up. Cause, heehee... you're too cold for me and it kinda hurts. So I kinda backed down. Then I was alone, which I'm ok with, chill don't feel guilty lol.. really don't. Cause that gave me some time to chill. But then I'm glad it work out well hahaha... Yaaaayyyy. Thanks for always being patient with me... hahahahaaaaa.. Met you in form 1, know you in form 2, close to you in form 3 at the back of the year. xD Loveeeee youuuu, muakx muackx. Thank you, Lao gong <3
Then~ it would be you J.Y.M.H.
No idea why I choose this pic for you. I tried searching Libra guys.. but I dunno.. this came out and I just choose this pic for you... HEEHEE... Ok... So met you in form 2, know you in form 3 and close to you in form 4. xP In form 2 you're a gambler in the class.. HAHAHAHA... I think Flame's the one that made us met each other. Know you in form 3... urghhh.. that year... you're so freaking annoying. Keep making me look behind so you can talk to me.. Sometimes I even got lazy to turn around and just ask you to speak, I'll listen. But noooooo, you have to wait until I turn to you only u can talk if not you'd keep calling my name for no apparent reason. BUT, heehee because of that, I get to boom you. So it's fair I guess.. Anger release for me I guess, hahahahaa.... You always think up something stupid but ridiculously funny that make me cracked up.. So thank you~~ x3 and listen to my complains I guess.. xD urgh, i still remember that pmr message. dammit. you sneaky bastard.
Last but not least~ C.Y.Y
Nahhhh... Pisces for you.
Well.. to be honest, I don't really like you the first time we met. HAHAHAHA...
cause you just came right in and steal RH from me. That's a secret short code for my blog. But I think you should be able to know who it is. Heehee. Then slowly slowly I accept you in our circle..
Hahahaha.. I guess it's like a pride or somthing... An alpha female pride. HAHAHAHA...
joking joking.Glad to have you around to cheer up and keep RH accompany because she needs it more than she thinks she do. I have to say it's nice watching you guys argue and tease each other. That warmth feeling... yeappp. Thanks for helping me eat finish my food in school, cause I really don't like wasting food, but I just somehow cannot finish it and I'd get irritated with myself and all. Thanks for being the always cheerful one in the gang even though you like to complain a lot. Thank you, bao bei <3 muackx~
Then the special extra... hahahahaha...
you were once in our gang but then you decided you couldn't stay anymore, Flame.
I was wondering if i should use flame or your initials... but then i guess it'll end up the same cause everyone knows it anyways... so yeaaaa. xD Flame. Got used to it since last time your id all put that name. Well.. I have to say. You're a very very very good friend that I could find. You've always keep me accompany. You don't mind me boom-ing you, I'm guessing that cause you always find reasons to irritate me. You would stand by my side when I'm angry, you'd try to talk to me or cheer me up. But then others won't because apparently I looked scary.. heehee. You would accompany when I'm alone and you would ask questions meaning you'd care for me. You helped me in training me in games and you listen to my anime crap talks and so on... Really, you're a very good friend. But then things change because you confessed. Seriously, I was pissed. You asked if we could be friends again and of course I don't mind. But apparently you do, I know it's hard because I got rejected before I know how it feels. But come on. You son of a.... You distance yourself and I understand, I let you, I didn't question you cause i thought u needed a break, a time off not being around me. It was Ok until everyone starts to bug me about it and the rumours did not help at all. And then you have your ULBS on THIS. Which make me even more pissed, but *sigh* you're not wrong. I know that. That's how you feel and that's how you express yourself. I'm glad that now, you'd still find me to hang out and chat even if it's just once in a lonnnnngggggg while. Thank you for always being my side that time.
Primary school times done~
Now it's Secondary school~ Hahahahaha.. awkward~~~
This is troublesome.... So erm.. you guys. Just read then can edi.
Don't give me looks or something... -w-
First off, surely it's L.T.J...
Next~ my beloved H.R.Y
Then~ it would be you J.Y.M.H.
Last but not least~ C.Y.Y
Well.. to be honest, I don't really like you the first time we met. HAHAHAHA...
cause you just came right in and steal RH from me. That's a secret short code for my blog. But I think you should be able to know who it is. Heehee. Then slowly slowly I accept you in our circle..
Hahahaha.. I guess it's like a pride or somthing... An alpha female pride. HAHAHAHA...
joking joking.Glad to have you around to cheer up and keep RH accompany because she needs it more than she thinks she do. I have to say it's nice watching you guys argue and tease each other. That warmth feeling... yeappp. Thanks for helping me eat finish my food in school, cause I really don't like wasting food, but I just somehow cannot finish it and I'd get irritated with myself and all. Thanks for being the always cheerful one in the gang even though you like to complain a lot. Thank you, bao bei <3 muackx~
Then the special extra... hahahahaha...
you were once in our gang but then you decided you couldn't stay anymore, Flame.
I was wondering if i should use flame or your initials... but then i guess it'll end up the same cause everyone knows it anyways... so yeaaaa. xD Flame. Got used to it since last time your id all put that name. Well.. I have to say. You're a very very very good friend that I could find. You've always keep me accompany. You don't mind me boom-ing you, I'm guessing that cause you always find reasons to irritate me. You would stand by my side when I'm angry, you'd try to talk to me or cheer me up. But then others won't because apparently I looked scary.. heehee. You would accompany when I'm alone and you would ask questions meaning you'd care for me. You helped me in training me in games and you listen to my anime crap talks and so on... Really, you're a very good friend. But then things change because you confessed. Seriously, I was pissed. You asked if we could be friends again and of course I don't mind. But apparently you do, I know it's hard because I got rejected before I know how it feels. But come on. You son of a.... You distance yourself and I understand, I let you, I didn't question you cause i thought u needed a break, a time off not being around me. It was Ok until everyone starts to bug me about it and the rumours did not help at all. And then you have your ULBS on THIS. Which make me even more pissed, but *sigh* you're not wrong. I know that. That's how you feel and that's how you express yourself. I'm glad that now, you'd still find me to hang out and chat even if it's just once in a lonnnnngggggg while. Thank you for always being my side that time.
Thursday, 25 September 2014
Appreciation ~2~
PART 2~
To continue... hahahaha... I kind of got bored writing that so i stopped for quite a few days..
*scratches the back of my head* hahahaha... oopps..
Sooooooo~ Now it's Primary Schoolmates / Classmates.
I've made quite number of friends... but that doesn't mean they're all close friends.
I will write down who I can remember... and people that I'm grateful I've met.
But those names who I didn't write down doesn't mean I'm not grateful..
It's just that.. with my memory and special attitude..
I doubt I can remember much of you if you didn't mark yourself in my mind...
So.. I apologize if you treat me a great friend but i didn't even write u in here...
sometimes it's not that i don't wanna write ur name down...
it's cause i can't remember what u did for me.. I'm SO SORRY.
But I'm only writing down people who were close to me in here..
that sounded like super offensive but.. ok.. here goes...
First off, Y.K.M
Heehee... I bet you didn't expect that you're the first person I think abt. Pffftt... You crybaby.
Honestly, I don't even know how I kept up with you... but then again.. you've kept up with me.
So i guess it's pretty fair.. I used to be like really quiet and don't talk much abt myself. I'm distant and some might say I'm cool.. But most of all... everyone will think of nerd group when they see me.. so yea.. hahahaha... Well.. you're more of a nerd than I am. At least I'm sociable. I can't believe how many times I've save u from bullying,teasing,getting hit... If you don't remember, it's COUNTLESS TIME. I think you're one of the few that I stood up and scolded other people for you... =.= I remembered we signed a contract saying that you'll be Sushi's bodyguard forever, a.k.a , be my bodyguard. But then I'm the one who ended up protecting you... zzz I must say, even though you're quite annoying, it's always fun having you around. I still like your drawings. And I still kept the letters you always send to me last time.
Next~ F.T.V
Hahaahha.... The one that always accompany me. I got a feeling that you know I'm sad or something and you're following me around like you're afraid I might do something. Heehee... Was expecting to meet you at the student results reward thingy. Because I remember last time... we met each other and become friends. Then found out we study at the same primary school.. which is freaking cool. X3
And we did meet. We chat about random stuff and anime. hahahaha.. the one that got influenced by me.. I feel bad now... xD Thanks for keeping me accompany. You're very kind hearted. Hahahaha.. Not sure if you're still a good girl now though. xP
Next~ Sara O.Y.L
The girl who always gossip around me. xD hahahahaa.. But also the one that stand by my side.
You always introduce new English songs to me and make me listen to it. Because I'm always singing japanese songs. x)
You like to tease me a lot.. But you won't ever stand on anyone's side but mine. We always chat about random stuff and just keep on jump on the topic... I think I talked to you the most.. hahahahaha..
I'm glad I met you...
Next~ Sarah L.T.L
The first time I met you, you look so graceful. You learn ballet and you play the flute. You're like one of the pretty girls in our class.. I'm still not sure why you're in our group. xD Probably because I'm the only who can put up with your attitude. HAHAHAHA.. And that I'm good in english or something... Since our group are the only GIRLS that speak fluent English... others like to speak Chinese.. hahaha.. not that I mind though.. You're always rude and sarcastic and straight... But I like it. hahaha.. (Y) But you went overseas to study... and I told you to whatsapp me before you fly off so i can send u a pic of me giving u a flying kiss. But nooooooo. It's either u forgot or u dun wanna.. =3= *pouts* As evil as ever huh. xP
Then~ it's Alvin N.Z.X. Shit. I can't remember your behind name.. I can only remember in chinese. I'm sorry.. hahahhaa... omg.. my memoriessssss.. they're fadingggggg~~~~
The first male BEST friend I ever had. I like you a lot, platonic-ally. You've been helping me a lot more than you think. You're like a pillar support to me. I always finished my homework and rarely ever to get punish because of not doing my homework. But there's one time, I totally forgot about it. And the teacher made me to finish my homework outside of the class. Of course I'm scared and I don't know how to do it. I'd almost cried out myself. None of my friends help me. But you. You opened the classroom door quickly and fling your book to me and let me copy. And I heard you giving excuses to the teacher. I was really really touched. You have no idea how happy I was... I could give u a tight hug right now. It meant a lot to me. you even give me advise on love life... hahaha.. You're sweet and caring. BUT don't get cocky... I helped you too. You told me to move on because that guy doesn't look good and looks like a play boy kind of guy. And told me to look at someone else who likes me instead. But you still went to get his signature on my yearbook and his phone number... you're the best best best best.. But now, you don't seem like want to talk to me... =3= kind of hurts. But, don't sweat it... cause you're going overseas too. I hope we get to meet again.!
Then~ W.Z.X
You're always the quiet observant kind of guy. I never see you talked with any other girls so much before... But when we were seat-mates, if that even make sense, we talked A LOT... About games, about anime[s], about manga[s] and about studies. We got really really close. And I'm grateful to find someone that I can share so much with. But then, well... you kind of confessed, and I kind of liked someone else.. and sooo one thing leads to another... it became awkward around us. But I'm glad now... we still sometimes chat with each other. Even though it's not the same as before. Thank you.
Then~ O.J.C
The tall skinny basketball dude. You always like to tease me a lot. And we always got dared to hug each other. Rumors had it though. hahahaha... You would find time to chat with me. I really enjoy your company because it's exciting. I dunno why.. but yea... Hahahah.. Got quite a lot of things to say but it's too personal but yeapp. I'm glad I met you too.
Then~ S.C.H
You're the kind guy who puts up with me. You always help me unconditionally and sweet.
You never really tease me much but you're always there to help me out.
You literally sees me as a girl and I can feel that...
You treat me like what a knight would do for a princess.. And that is super sweet.
Thank you for always to be the one who help me out.
Thank you for treating me as gentle as you can.
Then~ N.X.L
Nyahahahaha... maybe I'm not that important in your life or maybe I did not mark a memorable memory into your mind. But you did for mine.
You're like the perfect girl everyone wants to be with. You were in different class with me.
But there's one year. Just one year.. We became really close to each other.
You always keep your calm and you're good in everything.
You're even closer to my grandfather compared to me.
But when you were in the same class as me, became my the friend that never left my side. He began to notice me. So I thank you for that. you know what to say. But I'm just, you know... I'm like a freaking tsundere.. -.- I just found out recently.. which kind of sucks.
I'm really happy that you choose to hang out with me instead of the popular gang.
Hahahaha.. cause come on.. you're freaking popular and all.
Then you invited our whole class to ur hse to celebrate your birthday.
Though I must say... I don't really like kept getting pushed into the pool by all the random guys. -.-
So i ended up just staying in the pool.
And when everyone went home... just left me...
You locked me and yourself in the bathroom and on the basin water so that your twin little sisters were unable to listen to our conversation. You wanted me to stay overnight. I want to.
But obviously I can't.. cause my mum said so.
Then a year passed... you went back to your own class... and we never talked.
Probably because our classes don't get along... Always argue and fight... and competitive..
But I'm glad you still hand me an invitation to your hse... but everyone in my class got so pissed.
hahahahaa.. and I'd probably be in ur way and alone if i go anyways...
But thank you. I like you a lot actually platonic- ally. But just sad case our friendship doesn't continue.
Lastly~
Girls : C.C.Y, C.L.H.M ( I"m not sure ur behind name either... gosh... but i remeber ur chinese name. ), L.Y.M., E.B.T.X. who always most of the time also got attend the gathering and have fun with each other and remember me.
Boys : C.T.M, O.J.C, Alvin, L.W.Y also attend most of the gatherings last time and making less awkward.
And those who still attend our gatherings... Thank you~ Cause meeting you guys back are awesome.
especially when we gossip.. hahahaha.. (Y)
I hope we can meet each other and have fun again.
Once again, not i don't appreciate the rest but these are the ones who were there for me and helping me out and being a sincere friend.
Even though we're not as close as we were, I'm glad I get to meet u guys.
To continue... hahahaha... I kind of got bored writing that so i stopped for quite a few days..
*scratches the back of my head* hahahaha... oopps..
Sooooooo~ Now it's Primary Schoolmates / Classmates.
I've made quite number of friends... but that doesn't mean they're all close friends.
I will write down who I can remember... and people that I'm grateful I've met.
But those names who I didn't write down doesn't mean I'm not grateful..
It's just that.. with my memory and special attitude..
I doubt I can remember much of you if you didn't mark yourself in my mind...
So.. I apologize if you treat me a great friend but i didn't even write u in here...
sometimes it's not that i don't wanna write ur name down...
it's cause i can't remember what u did for me.. I'm SO SORRY.
But I'm only writing down people who were close to me in here..
that sounded like super offensive but.. ok.. here goes...
First off, Y.K.M
Heehee... I bet you didn't expect that you're the first person I think abt. Pffftt... You crybaby.
Honestly, I don't even know how I kept up with you... but then again.. you've kept up with me.
So i guess it's pretty fair.. I used to be like really quiet and don't talk much abt myself. I'm distant and some might say I'm cool.. But most of all... everyone will think of nerd group when they see me.. so yea.. hahahaha... Well.. you're more of a nerd than I am. At least I'm sociable. I can't believe how many times I've save u from bullying,teasing,getting hit... If you don't remember, it's COUNTLESS TIME. I think you're one of the few that I stood up and scolded other people for you... =.= I remembered we signed a contract saying that you'll be Sushi's bodyguard forever, a.k.a , be my bodyguard. But then I'm the one who ended up protecting you... zzz I must say, even though you're quite annoying, it's always fun having you around. I still like your drawings. And I still kept the letters you always send to me last time.
Next~ F.T.V
And we did meet. We chat about random stuff and anime. hahahaha.. the one that got influenced by me.. I feel bad now... xD Thanks for keeping me accompany. You're very kind hearted. Hahahaha.. Not sure if you're still a good girl now though. xP
Next~ Sara O.Y.L
You always introduce new English songs to me and make me listen to it. Because I'm always singing japanese songs. x)
You like to tease me a lot.. But you won't ever stand on anyone's side but mine. We always chat about random stuff and just keep on jump on the topic... I think I talked to you the most.. hahahahaha..
I'm glad I met you...
Next~ Sarah L.T.L
Then~ it's Alvin N.Z.X. Shit. I can't remember your behind name.. I can only remember in chinese. I'm sorry.. hahahhaa... omg.. my memoriessssss.. they're fadingggggg~~~~
Then~ W.Z.X
Then~ O.J.C
Then~ S.C.H
You never really tease me much but you're always there to help me out.
You literally sees me as a girl and I can feel that...
You treat me like what a knight would do for a princess.. And that is super sweet.
Thank you for always to be the one who help me out.
Thank you for treating me as gentle as you can.
Then~ N.X.L
You're like the perfect girl everyone wants to be with. You were in different class with me.
But there's one year. Just one year.. We became really close to each other.
You always keep your calm and you're good in everything.
You're even closer to my grandfather compared to me.
But when you were in the same class as me, became my the friend that never left my side. He began to notice me. So I thank you for that. you know what to say. But I'm just, you know... I'm like a freaking tsundere.. -.- I just found out recently.. which kind of sucks.
I'm really happy that you choose to hang out with me instead of the popular gang.
Hahahaha.. cause come on.. you're freaking popular and all.
Then you invited our whole class to ur hse to celebrate your birthday.
Though I must say... I don't really like kept getting pushed into the pool by all the random guys. -.-
So i ended up just staying in the pool.
And when everyone went home... just left me...
You locked me and yourself in the bathroom and on the basin water so that your twin little sisters were unable to listen to our conversation. You wanted me to stay overnight. I want to.
But obviously I can't.. cause my mum said so.
Then a year passed... you went back to your own class... and we never talked.
Probably because our classes don't get along... Always argue and fight... and competitive..
But I'm glad you still hand me an invitation to your hse... but everyone in my class got so pissed.
hahahahaa.. and I'd probably be in ur way and alone if i go anyways...
But thank you. I like you a lot actually platonic- ally. But just sad case our friendship doesn't continue.
Lastly~
Girls : C.C.Y, C.L.H.M ( I"m not sure ur behind name either... gosh... but i remeber ur chinese name. ), L.Y.M., E.B.T.X. who always most of the time also got attend the gathering and have fun with each other and remember me.
Boys : C.T.M, O.J.C, Alvin, L.W.Y also attend most of the gatherings last time and making less awkward.
And those who still attend our gatherings... Thank you~ Cause meeting you guys back are awesome.
especially when we gossip.. hahahaha.. (Y)
I hope we can meet each other and have fun again.
Once again, not i don't appreciate the rest but these are the ones who were there for me and helping me out and being a sincere friend.
Even though we're not as close as we were, I'm glad I get to meet u guys.
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
Appreciation ~1~
First off... I thought of writing appreciation stuff because... if someday I'd die or something... At least you guys know how I feel... This might be a sudden fling/thing/interest cause I'm bored and emo. xD
So might as well write this down...
I'm gonna start off from Kindergarten time.?
I'm not sure how old I was with those memories.. it's all mixed up...
cause I've been in many different kindergarten...
Okay... this is suppose to be an appreciation post... but just one for this I'm gonna complain about this girl... She wanted me to stay with her in the kindergarten longer that she pinched me HARD on my hand before I went onto the bus. I mean, walaoooo... do you really have to.? It's not like I control the bus.. I scared I miss the bus deihhh. But I'm glad she wanted me to stay so badly... Means that she wants to be friends with me badly.. I think.. I'm not sure.. I remember her pinching me and shouting some bad stuff. I didn't really bother that time.. cause it hurts and i want to get on to the bus. LOL.
Next~
To the boy who I always bully in class.. I'm sorry.. heehee.. it's just that you're annoying and u irritate me a lot and it's like u're trying to win my friends over... so since I'm young... i don't really hide my motives... so i end up keep on bullying u. HAHAHAHA... I'm sincerely sorry. I shouldn't have. But in my memory... you seemed like a M type... so maybe.. MAYBE I help u a little.? *self-slaps*
There's also a time I remember I made a bunch of friends that ride the same bus as me... it's girls.. i think.
Every time we sit the bus, we will pass by a small temple thingy at the road side.. I don't think it's called a temple.. A shelter .? I DUNNO.. the small small house/shelter/temple for the small god statue on the roadside.. I would put my hands together and pray.. and the girls sitting opposite would always say the same thing... " 干吗拜我们啦 " etc... even though I've explained so many times it's as a respect for the gods not them.
Then~
I found out later that, the boy I bullied.. was one of the four boys from behind my house. They were my neighbours. They live together... they're cousins and siblings.. i forgot their names.. But the younger ones always pronounce my name wrongly... they would go (in chinese) " SHUI LIN, SHUI LIN. 水琳 " I don't mind though... They actually help a lot... by constantly finding me and play with me. But sometimes it's really annoying cause they won't stop finding me and I'm unable to say no... plus, my mum seems to be really not liking it. But they've help me been through. Because I have brothers... which it's like not having any at the time... so them being there is like, I have lots of siblings. which is really warm. We would always play different games together... No wonder I'm such a tomboy... >.>'' We ran, we hide, we scout, we play. It's really fun... I hope someday I get to meet them and re-introduce myself and hope they can remember me too.. I wonder what they think of me... later they go " EH.?! YOU"RE A GIRL.?! " nahhh.. can't be.. I looked like a girl, I have long hair... they won't think that... right....? *nervous*
Lastly~
The kids at my nanny's house.
The 3 siblings, one boy two girls, as usual...
I cope with the boy easier than the girls... I'm closer to the boy. We played and chatted a lot.
There's the younger girl who bite my shoulder when I was giving her a piggy ride WHICH she request... I got so pissed I teared up.
But they're fun... but the appreciation part is more to the boy.. cause he was like a big brother...
The two girls... always want to fight stuff with me even when I'm the one who have it...
and they always want to compete with me to get nanny's attention...
Of course I seldom get scold cause honestly... I don't really bully girls. You want, I give. Except on certain terms...
I guess that's all the people I can remember in my memories.
So might as well write this down...
I'm gonna start off from Kindergarten time.?
I'm not sure how old I was with those memories.. it's all mixed up...
cause I've been in many different kindergarten...
Next~
To the boy who I always bully in class.. I'm sorry.. heehee.. it's just that you're annoying and u irritate me a lot and it's like u're trying to win my friends over... so since I'm young... i don't really hide my motives... so i end up keep on bullying u. HAHAHAHA... I'm sincerely sorry. I shouldn't have. But in my memory... you seemed like a M type... so maybe.. MAYBE I help u a little.? *self-slaps*
There's also a time I remember I made a bunch of friends that ride the same bus as me... it's girls.. i think.
Every time we sit the bus, we will pass by a small temple thingy at the road side.. I don't think it's called a temple.. A shelter .? I DUNNO.. the small small house/shelter/temple for the small god statue on the roadside.. I would put my hands together and pray.. and the girls sitting opposite would always say the same thing... " 干吗拜我们啦 " etc... even though I've explained so many times it's as a respect for the gods not them.
Then~
I found out later that, the boy I bullied.. was one of the four boys from behind my house. They were my neighbours. They live together... they're cousins and siblings.. i forgot their names.. But the younger ones always pronounce my name wrongly... they would go (in chinese) " SHUI LIN, SHUI LIN. 水琳 " I don't mind though... They actually help a lot... by constantly finding me and play with me. But sometimes it's really annoying cause they won't stop finding me and I'm unable to say no... plus, my mum seems to be really not liking it. But they've help me been through. Because I have brothers... which it's like not having any at the time... so them being there is like, I have lots of siblings. which is really warm. We would always play different games together... No wonder I'm such a tomboy... >.>'' We ran, we hide, we scout, we play. It's really fun... I hope someday I get to meet them and re-introduce myself and hope they can remember me too.. I wonder what they think of me... later they go " EH.?! YOU"RE A GIRL.?! " nahhh.. can't be.. I looked like a girl, I have long hair... they won't think that... right....? *nervous*
Lastly~
The kids at my nanny's house.
The 3 siblings, one boy two girls, as usual...
I cope with the boy easier than the girls... I'm closer to the boy. We played and chatted a lot.
There's the younger girl who bite my shoulder when I was giving her a piggy ride WHICH she request... I got so pissed I teared up.
But they're fun... but the appreciation part is more to the boy.. cause he was like a big brother...
The two girls... always want to fight stuff with me even when I'm the one who have it...
and they always want to compete with me to get nanny's attention...
Of course I seldom get scold cause honestly... I don't really bully girls. You want, I give. Except on certain terms...
I guess that's all the people I can remember in my memories.
Monday, 15 September 2014
Expectations...?
I have no idea why nowadays all my titles have a question mark behind...
nyahahahaahhaa...
I think one of the reasons is I'm not sure if I wrote the title before or not.
And it's actually kind of hard to think of a title... xD
I also found out that putting anime pictures in looks better. x3
Not so dull and all... It keeps me on reading properly and not bored...
Yes, I sometimes read back what I wrote...
More likely scheme through or something... Not really reading the whole thing one by one though.
Cause it's very troublesome.
Okay... so back to the topic. Expectations.
Yesterday I went out with my mum so some place.
Actually, I was hesitating on accompanying my mum...
But then I thought might as well go... If I really find that it's hard for me to go back there.
Then I'll just not go next time. And just attend important dates.
Many people... a.k.a adults. Every time they saw me... They'll say.. " ohhh, you've grow so big already. Last time you're so small and young. " Then something that goes when they tell my mum about me , " 你的女儿，从以前就看起来很文静，很聪明。成绩一定很好。很温柔" etc...
Well... Truth to be said... I ain't nothing like that. Sorry to disappoint all of you. =.=
I'm quiet in front of you guys is cause most of the times I'd prefer listening then talking.
And sometimes I'll just give comments and replies in my mind. Kind of a bad habit.. i think.
My academic isn't really that good. Haiz. My average marks sucks till no end and all...
I'm not a softie. I'm kind of dark actually... I swear a lot in my mind.. Haha... =.=''
And I curse quite amount of stranger... in my mind..
I'd kill people countless time ruthlessly in my dream and mind too.
I even sacrifice people in order to stay safe and alive in my dream. And that moment of choice, I choose to pull people and block the damage... You can say that I can kind of semi control my dream... in desperate state or something near there.
Everyone kept telling me to study smart not study hard. But how the hell do you study smart. Isn't it the same thing.? You just study and understand the damn thing and do exercises. And if you don't know how to do those exercises, means you don't understand the concept well and thus study more.
I'm just an average girl. Not good in sports, not good in academics. Not good in social and not good in expressing. I'm only good at understanding but it doesn't really help cause once you understand too many stuff... you can't able to really decide and you can't see things the same way u used to see...
I kind of suck in everything... Somewhere along suckish and good. THUS, AVERAGE.
Just an average whose life is filled with dramatic stories and related stuff...
And my only way for escape is Anime and Manga.
Game not really... cause sometimes I accidentally set a role in my character... and I kind of role play... like acting... which is not really me. So yeaaaaa...
I dunno. It's like automatically, I'd act out. WTH.
And I hate to lie. Not hate but dislike.
I get all nervous lying. But by acting... it's like a natural thing.
I'm not sure if you guys understand the difference. hahahaha..
U don't hv to understand though.
Of course everyone wants to study hard and smart to be successful in the future. But what the hell.. I'm not smart... Just drown yourself in the number of books you have to read and already read.
Just that I'm sorry I don't meet your expectations nya.. I've tried, and now I'm tired.
See that face there.? Yeaaa.. I'm tired and bored in coping up. So when I got the mood to impress you again. I'll try harder~
Thank you very much for looking that high up of me. Your thoughts are sincerely taken into the depth of my heart. Just remember that my heart has a hole and your thoughts might just slipped away someday and I won't give a shit.. But then again, Thank you so much for your encourage~ I love all your compliments. But keep it sincere, since it won't be able to irritate me that much.
THANK YOU~ <3
nyahahahaahhaa...
I think one of the reasons is I'm not sure if I wrote the title before or not.
And it's actually kind of hard to think of a title... xD
I also found out that putting anime pictures in looks better. x3
Not so dull and all... It keeps me on reading properly and not bored...
Yes, I sometimes read back what I wrote...
More likely scheme through or something... Not really reading the whole thing one by one though.
Cause it's very troublesome.
Okay... so back to the topic. Expectations.
Yesterday I went out with my mum so some place.
Actually, I was hesitating on accompanying my mum...
But then I thought might as well go... If I really find that it's hard for me to go back there.
Then I'll just not go next time. And just attend important dates.
Many people... a.k.a adults. Every time they saw me... They'll say.. " ohhh, you've grow so big already. Last time you're so small and young. " Then something that goes when they tell my mum about me , " 你的女儿，从以前就看起来很文静，很聪明。成绩一定很好。很温柔" etc...
Well... Truth to be said... I ain't nothing like that. Sorry to disappoint all of you. =.=
I'm quiet in front of you guys is cause most of the times I'd prefer listening then talking.
And sometimes I'll just give comments and replies in my mind. Kind of a bad habit.. i think.
My academic isn't really that good. Haiz. My average marks sucks till no end and all...
I'm not a softie. I'm kind of dark actually... I swear a lot in my mind.. Haha... =.=''
And I curse quite amount of stranger... in my mind..
I'd kill people countless time ruthlessly in my dream and mind too.
I even sacrifice people in order to stay safe and alive in my dream. And that moment of choice, I choose to pull people and block the damage... You can say that I can kind of semi control my dream... in desperate state or something near there.
I'm just an average girl. Not good in sports, not good in academics. Not good in social and not good in expressing. I'm only good at understanding but it doesn't really help cause once you understand too many stuff... you can't able to really decide and you can't see things the same way u used to see...
I kind of suck in everything... Somewhere along suckish and good. THUS, AVERAGE.
Just an average whose life is filled with dramatic stories and related stuff...
And my only way for escape is Anime and Manga.
Game not really... cause sometimes I accidentally set a role in my character... and I kind of role play... like acting... which is not really me. So yeaaaaa...
I dunno. It's like automatically, I'd act out. WTH.
And I hate to lie. Not hate but dislike.
I get all nervous lying. But by acting... it's like a natural thing.
I'm not sure if you guys understand the difference. hahahaha..
U don't hv to understand though.
Just that I'm sorry I don't meet your expectations nya.. I've tried, and now I'm tired.
Thank you very much for looking that high up of me. Your thoughts are sincerely taken into the depth of my heart. Just remember that my heart has a hole and your thoughts might just slipped away someday and I won't give a shit.. But then again, Thank you so much for your encourage~ I love all your compliments. But keep it sincere, since it won't be able to irritate me that much.
THANK YOU~ <3
Sunday, 14 September 2014
Funny that I'm the one who says this... " I'm lonely. "
I guess I kind of got too used to the feeling of not being alone... Now it's kinda taking me back to the start. Ahhh... what a pain in the ass...
I bet once you guys read this you'll feel all guilty or pity or sympathetic or something. Haizz.. Just saying. It's not you guys' fault. It's kind of mine... Long story. hahahaha... it's ok it's ok...
Well... I've finished my sem 2 exam and now having 3 weeks holiday... or more correctly, left 2 more weeks holiday... and waiting for results to be out.. which is also killing me from the inside.
I feel like I'm bothering people.. hahahaha.. the way I keep asking my close friends if they're free and so we can hang out... But my bad... They can't really go out as much as I can.
I could've ask other friends to hang out but.. I was being.. hahaha... how should i say.. selfish.? stubborn.? arrogant.? I thought that why should I hang out with other people if they're not them...
Wow... That's very bad of me.. hahahaha... that's really bad. But if they invite me out.. I'm ok with it... hahaha..
Okay.. aherm. So.. they can't really go out.. cause 2 are having big exams coming. another 2 are having lots of assignments.
And then, there's the time when they have to spent time with their partner, or family, or college friends etc... which I don't.. hahaha.. now i think abt it.. it's kind of sad if i say it like this... nyahahaha....
Most of my college friends stay around my college, duh, which is very far for me to hang out with them. And plus, my class only consist of 3 people... 2 of them are boys. And the ones I talked to everyday are boys. And the ones I want to hang out with, the girls, I'm not being really in their group. I mean.. i can understand.. cause if someone suddenly want to come in the group of mine, there will be more or less an awkward convo or how should i say... erm... " fang bei " or something like that.
I don't blame them though. Cause I understand. But that's the part. Even when I understand and I don't blame. Of course will still feel lonely. Ahahahaa... Unlike my friends who usually hang out with their college friends. Quite nice... To have a group outside that can meet daily.
Next... family.? I don't really spend my time with my family... obviously.. there's nth to spend about. hahahaha... so yeaaaa.. alone at home with comp or stuff I planned to do. Alone. nyaaaahaha...
Partner.? Well, like bf and gf. heehee.. or the status of somewhere being " ai mei ". So yeappp. I don't have. Not gonna have. Not gonna think abt it. Cause I'm tired and sick of it. No offence though. I hope you guys stay sweet with ur couples~ heehee.
Well... Last time being getting so close with u guys... living off being alone was kind of my specialty. But since then... being off alone now is kinda taking a toll on me. nyaaaaa... this is bad.
So no worries, I'll try to cope back to how I was before. Don't worry.
You guys really can't take the blame. So if you're blaming yourself, just stop. Because if i found out. I'll be like super irritated. But if you're not. I'm so proud of u. HAHAHA... cause I'm indirectly-kind-of-making-you-guys-feel-guilty. So yea... Just let me talk my rubbish and move on like you never read this. Seriously, chill. don't sweat abt it.
Now I'm kind of regretting writing this... What if you guys are being a whimp.. gosh. please. u guys are not whimp so pls don't be like that. It's really not ur fault. It's mine. I'm the one who's feeling stuff.. so yeaa.. Don't.
Just don't talk about this in front of me. xD I might just cry. Who knows.
I'm on an emotional train wreck now.
Should be since form 5 until now...
Which is bad. And now I'm wondering if i should see a therapist or psychologist or something.
urgh.
So yeap. I'm feeling lonely. I feel alone.
It's nothing surprising...
The thing is the things I do to prevent myself on feeling that.
HAHAHAHAHA... yeaaaa... things I do...
Okay then. CIAO~
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