Naruto : Road to Ninja.

So~ The left side is Menma ( which looks like Naruto in another dimension ). The right side is Naruto.

It's a nice story plot. Well... At least I liked it. =] It's nice. Very touching too <3
There's Naruto and Sakura scenes... But only 1 part Sakura with Sasuke...

In the story... Naruto gets to meet back his parents in another dimension. But it's actually Menma's parents.

 This movie made me cry in the end cause... Naruto, who have been longing for parent's care and love, got his wish but it turns out to be a fake to him. When he's leaving with Sakura to be back to their original world... Naruto cried and told them even it's a short while, he enjoyed it. The warmth and love they gave, he appreciate it a lot.

When they got back, Naruto felt very sad and lonely... When he reached his hse, knowing that there will be no more a dad and mom saying : Welcome back, to him. But Iruka-sensei was inside waiting for him... With cakes and everything... Naruto cried once again and Iruka-sensei said : Welcome back, Naruto.

Was so touched. And I got overly emotionally attached to that scene.
I went up, into the room and locked the door. Played my music player and started to cry out. It's been very long to cry this much. I cried almost like half an hour... Long time didn't cry until like this edi.
Still... Hope my eyes don't be swollen 2morrow... If not.. -.- troublesome.

I really felt super sad and all... I cried and cried and cried and cried until I even stop bothering what made me felt so sad in the 1st place. I just continue to cry and cry and cry until I felt that I need to stop because I still have to go down to eat my dinner.

My dad will see my stupid red face. Mum.? She's busy having party with her friends.

It's a sad day for me. Well.. not really.. Just that moment. Seriously sad.

2nd brother's birthday.

My mum planned his birthday celebration a week earlier. She talked abt it for a while now.

She told me, that K gor cannot celebrate on Thursday cause he's busy. So we'll celebrate on his actual birthday date, that is Friday.

My mum saud that she'll be late for her line dance party after the dinner.

- Usually, the 5 of us only eat dinner together when there's celebration of something.-

So I told her why not change to celebrate it on Saturday.
.... she told me cause she feels bad. That K gor have to pass his birthday only can celebrate.

She said she will feel bad.
Then did she ever thought how my 17th birthday went through. ?

I didn't even get to celebrate my birthday. There's no cake, no dinner. Heck. There's nothing except wishes.

If u think from the bright side, at least got wishes.

My friends all thought... " Heyyyyy,  she's the youngest and a girl too, bet she gets all the attention"

They don't know...
... my mum constantly talked abt ny brothers in front of me.
... my dad constantly saying how good their results are.
The 2 of them will always constantly remind me how far I am behind my brothers.
They always see them much much better than me.

Even if they don't sweep the hse. Even if they don't help out our parents to do stuff. Even if they don't iron their own clothes. 

And once I pointed out their bad sides, my mum protected them. Saying that they're working now. But what abt when their in sch.?! Did they do the same as me.??

I juz don't get it. How and why can she sees things so different towards different people.

Talkig to them, she always tries to be patient. She complaints them at me, even 发脾气 at me but never them. She always always aim me.

My dad's the worst. Everyday kacau kacauuuuuuuu kacauuuuuuuu.
Like u keep on freaking touching u. I swear I will call him molester 1 day. He likes to touch touch touch. Hit me for no reason. Repeat stuff n times juz cause he's bored. U bored then go work la.!!! U everyday at home boring when go work laaaa. !!

DAMMIT.

Qing Ming

Last time... All the while, when we need to go for Qing Ming... We always go to Father's side only... Means my dad's mother and father... To pay our respect and clean their graves.

This year, my mum and dad each have their Qing Ming program on the same day. So it crashed together. I don't want to go to my Father's side for Qing Ming. It's not that I do not want to pay my respect to my grandfather and grandmother, it's just that.. I do not want to have that feeling again and again and again...

Usually, we will go Qing Ming together...  Mum, Dad, big bro, 2nd bro and me... with father's side family. Our cousins from father's side that attend are all grown ups. And as a child, they find my helping unnecessary. My brothers are boys, so they can help with the heavy stuff. I'm a girl and a child. So usually, I'm left with nothing to do at all. Not that doing nothing is good, but... the feeling of everyone around ignores you like you shouldn't even be here if u're that useless. Then, my aunt will give me LOTS of joysticks to put at other people's graveyard as a respect.

My brothers and I will go around and put those joysticks. Each separate ways. I don't like that. I don't like being alone in the cemetery walking around. I hate that feeling. Not that I could ask my brothers to be with me. Haaa... me.. and them.? like a real brother and sister.? It doesn't happen in the family. Not mine. We're exactly what you call... " Familiar Stranger " We don't speak, we don't share. Funny that even when they came back from work, I'll say " Hi, gor. " None replies. None... From them. A good reply will be " en... "

And at least even when my mum will be busy helping out at the cemetery, she'll still talk to me. Now.? She's not gonna be there. Only my brothers and dad. And I don't even talk to them much. Going there, will be like a torture to myself. I tried to find plans so that I'll able to skip that Qing Ming.

One of my friends asked : " Can skip 1 meh.? " The other replied : " Dunno her... "
Yeah. yeah. I dunno what to say about this. Because, they're not me, and I don't expect them to feel the same as I do but still... A little bit considerate will do.? Please.? I need that......

It's lonely... Really lonely.

You guys going with families. At least they chat with you. At least they'll talk with you. At least, they are there.... knowing that you're around.

I really don't expect anyone to understand... Because they might feel : " Aiya... something like this small case lah... or you're being too sensitive over something like this. etc. "

Try living it for years. Years.