Complicated

I'm weird. hahahahaa...

I know my friends are all busy.
I know they don't only have me as friends in their life.
hmmm...

I know they need to take care of their studies.
I know they have responsibilities.
I know they may not have time anymore.
I know they're busy.

I know. OwO

But yea.. hahahahahha..
Guess that things won't always be the same.
Guess that people will still put others first instead of you.
Guess that you might not be that as important as it was before.

I know. O.O

Studies.
Exams.
Different group of gangs.
Assignments

You can't balance them if you don't know how to manage them.

I know. ^^

Money.
Transport.
Time.

Most important thing.
But they'll make time if they're willing to.

I know. =)

Parents permission.

Because it's mostly them.

I know and understand. =D

Different goals, different importance.

I know. =3

Just wanna say, I love you guys till the max <3

So it's ok. I believe one day, maybe, that I'll work my way up back to your number one spot.

YOSHHHHHHHHH.. don't feel down, don't feel sad.
They don't mean it. They love me too.
It's just busy right now.

I'll do anything to make it stay that way. Just hope that I'll stop breaking down. Lol.
Yoshhhhhh..

Talking with Inner part 1

So...
xD I have this habit of debating with myself..
There's me, Inner ( who usually debates with me all the time ) and Dark Inner ( who sometimes just appear out of no where and curse someone )

Nope, it's not a split personality.

hahahaha.. then when I was studying for my exam.. I got super bored and thought of this scenes..
It's not that funny.. it's just made out of boredom. But i just feel like sharing.
xP


" Organic Chem.! why did you do this to my Memory.! " - Brain

" Brain is now crying because you ruin memory... " - Inner

" So now, we want to call upon a full on war towards Organic Chem to launch their hatred and REVENGE. " -  Synapses

___________________________________________________________________________________


" Please Brain, go slap yourself. " - Inner

" What.?! How dare you, you insolent brat.! " - Brain

" I'm not a brat.! I'm Inner.! " - Inner

" And that, just proved my point. " - Brain

" Drop dead and die. All of you.. " - Dark Inner.

" D.I, go back to your rightful cage and stop coming out. " - Brain

" I take no orders from no one.! " - Dark Inner.

" Oh D.I ~~ Synapses are gonna cling onto you if you don't ~ " - Inner

" Tsk... Hn... "

" Yay~ Brain, We Did It~~ " - Inner

" Shut up, Brat. "

__________________________________________________________________________________" Can't... hold.. on any longer... " - Memory

" Memory, Stay Strong.!! " - Brain

" Brain... please tell Inner that... even till now, she's still annoying.. " - Memory

" HEY.! If you weren't about to die, I would soooo kick your ass. " - Inner



" Hn.. and burn his body, buried it deep down and torture him again. " - Dark Inner.

" Dark~~ you shouldn't be here... " - Inner

" Hmph.. "

" Memory, we will avenge for you.! " - Brain

 " Brain, thank---- " 


" NOOOOOOO, SYNAPSES.! WE CALL ON A FULL WAR WITH ORGANIC CHEM.! " -Brain



Dum dum dum dum dudududududududu~

the end.?

Like-Love Relationships.

My mother... I'm seriously speechless with her..
In primary school when I told her I got a crush, she told me it's just a puppy love.
But it lasted for 3 years until I was rejected. >.>

In secondary, she kept hinting and telling me that only to date in College.
Secondary guys all still studying , you won't have fun etc...
all kinds of stuff.

Now in college, i told her i met a not bad looking guy..
she told me don't think much about it because when in degree got more guys...
haishh.. mum... =-=

so when I'm degree I'm guessing she'll ask me to wait until I'm working.. >.>

That's that... now next.

I think I kinda ... yeaaaa...
But I know it won't work out.
So I decide to end it.

TADAAAAAA.. sometimes I feel fine... sometimes I don't....
Not sure if it's really the feeling I think it is.
Or it's just some imaginary feelings.

That's all. Cause I really don't know if I'm... yea...

I think my mum suspects that I'm secretly dating.
Cause she became really interested in what I'm doing, where, who and so on... unlike last time.

Haish.. whatever la..

Onii-chan [s]

Soooo... I don't really get along with my brothers since young...
But I only remember the times where my 2nd bro will play imaginary games with me...
Or I'll watch both my brothers to play games. I like watching them play..

But somehow when I'm in primary school.
Everything just change.

I looked back to the old photo[s] from the photo albums...
We look so happy, so content with each other..
Their arms around me, protecting me.
Their hands holding mine, making sure I won't be lost.

But somehow everything change...
I was in bad relationship with my 2nd brother, and he became really scary and doesn't talk a lot and his temper is bad.
I was never really that close with my big brother, but he always look friendly but it's always like a stranger politeness.

Until now..
It's better than last time... much better actually..
I'm selfish.
I wanted a relationship with my brothers like any normal people do.
Can't change that now I guess..

But at least I know they care right.?
At least now 2nd bro will talk to me once in a while, big bro too.
Big bro buys stuff for me too,
there's pencil case in primary school, box of pen from singapore in secondary sch and he just bought me a bracelet and necklace...

Now that's my brothers...
Maybe if they chg one day, I'll probably not used to it.?
It's ok.

Both my brothers are kind and caring in their own way.

Big bro, last time he would occasionally tease me so that I won't feel left out. He buy me gifts.

2nd bro, helped me out when our parents were arguing so that I won't feel so afraid. He gave me a souvenir this year..

I love them both <3
I'm still glad that they're my brothers even though we're not normal and close.

Love you gor gor[s] <3

Reasons / Excuses

Actually there's more than one reason that I never drove after I passed my driving test. I just keep making myself believe that's what I've been thinking.

First of all, the advantages of being able to drive by yourself..

1, you can go anywhere you want.
2, you can fetch anyone you want without complaints.
3, it's very convenient.
4, you don't need permission.
5, don't hv to sit public transport.

But all those advantages... brings  negative effects...

My family already has communication problems... I don't want to lose mine.
I still want to try to communicate with them, even when they don't give responds.

1, If i can go anywhere I want... I'm afraid one day, when I broke down and can't stand it anymore.. I would just drive to somewhere else... and that would make everyone worry, well, almost everyone. I'm afraid that one day, I would just leave them because I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't wanna leave them, but i know when one starts to lose their control, they do stuff without thinking, I don't want that. Thus, I was afraid.

2, I might fetch someone I'm not suppose to. No more excuses to not fetch anyone anymore.

3, Conveniet yea... no argument to that. LOL.

4, I might forget to get permission from my parents, or forget to let them know where I am. This is the communication thingy. My brothers never told my parents where they went, and I could see them worry sometimes and wanting to know but they never gave a direct answers. I don't want to be like that. But I might forget. I don't want that. To notice them where I'm going, when I'll be back. I want to inform them without them asking me when they're worried. I don't want them to worry abt me when they clearly have lots of things in their mind.

5, I might forget how to be civilize. Like being a good person. Showing ppl the correct way to the station. Letting old people to sit when there's no other places for them to sit down. To smile at strangers like giving a greetings. This world is already too dark, I somehow want to light it up. Even if it's useless, but at least I think I'm doing the right thing.

The reason I always used was my mum... hahahaha...
She doesn't allow me to drive alone and she doesn't want to sit beside me when I'm driving.
So she says I should ask my dad to sit beside me...
AND she doesn't allow me to drive in the dark, at night. PLUS, weekdays my dad is only at home AT NIGHT. So that left Saturday and Sunday... Sunday kinda out cause most of the time we have family gatherings. So that left Saturday, where I might go out with friends ( can't drive alone yet without parents so nope ) , or out with mum ( she doesn't want to sit beside me ), or I wanna watch my anime and read my manga.. ( me being lazy )

But most of all,
Not being able to drive is like a restriction I put on myself... something like a leash, I don't want myself to run away. Heehee... yeaaaa....

Don't judge a book by its cover

At first I was pissed at my mum for applying girls need to do chores concept. I know we should always learn about it, still sometimes I'd feel unfair but I understand... It still doesn't mean I wouldn't feel a thing. But then you went and complimented me when I did them. And I was like... "yay, she complimented me" not angry anymore.. haizz... sometimes, my mum held lots of power over me.

People always think that I don't help around the house. And that my brothers are the helpful ones. Because when everyone's around, my parents treat me like a princess. They don't know I was the one that sweep the house. My mum doesn't really sweeps the floor unless she finds it dirty. The men in the hse don't give a shit. I helped to wash the dishes too, even when they're not mine. I always did help, what abt them.? no they didn't, but everyone looks at them with that eyes that sees them the perfect children that anyone could hv, and me.? an extra in the family. They only wash what is theirs that's it... at least better than not doing... i guess..

Then I iron my own school uniforms when my mum irons for both of my brothers until they graduated. And I iron my own school uniforms until I graduated. I hang my own clothes in my closet. When mum folds their clothes and brings them to their respective rooms. And when they needed clothes, they would search the piles on the sofa and leave, not bothering taking the rest of their own clothes with them.

I helped to take in and hang out the clothes when mum's not around, and even if everyone's at home, my mum only called me for help. I even went to help them wash their clothes when mum went to Korea AND I was having SPM.

It's really unfair that no one sees the work I've done but look at me like a little princess that doesn't do anything at home. And even when I told them, they don't even believe me. Well then, fug u too. They all think that my brothers are much more perfect than me until where sometimes I would even look down at myself.

I helped my mum every time after events in our home, what did everyone else do.? NOTHING. They just go back to their own room. But in the end... what did i get.. nothing. Why.? Because everyone judges a book by its cover.

And my mother... every time people said some offensive things or indicate that on my brothers.. she defends them.. but when it comes to me, she just let them say it...
I don't know whether to cry or not.

Naruto's ending

Honestly... I still don't know if I'm happy with the ending or not... =.=

I've been reading Naruto manga since I'm in primary school. And I only watch a few episodes of Naruto anime in Animax and I've watched most of the OVA[s]...
Before I went on rambling how I feel... a small introduction of the main characters.

 

Uzumaki Naruto

 

Uchiha Sasuke

 

  

Haruno Sakura

I really like Team 7 a lot.. as in A LOT.

But somehow I kinda pity Sai that he got left out.

Okay, let's get down to business... I'm gonna start my rant here. 

First of all, put all your stupid hates on Sakura for those haters out there and look closely in this whole manga... I mean, I have been shipping the pairings of SasuSaku but then slowly the more chapters it goes, the more episodes it goes, they show more and more of NaruSaku and don't even deny it, haters. Put away your hates and look closely PLEASE. Kishimosto showed so many NaruSaku. AND THEN, I started to accept NaruSaku pairings. Plus, when Kushina and Minato moment showed signs of NaruSaku, I gave up on SasuSaku and support NaruSaku. BUT WHAT THE HELL. In the end, it just went NaruHina and SasuSaku. No hates on Hinata, I like Hinata but Whaaaaaaat... There's more, a lot more scenes that indicates NaruSaku but it just POOF, BOOM, POWWW, NaruHina and SasuSaku. I seriously got blank and no idea if I should be happy or not.

Many said that Hinata deserves Naruto more than Sakura. But do you really think that the word deserves belongs in love life.? I don't think so, when we like someone, we chased after them, we don't really care who deserves who because in the end, love is all that matters. And for the character Naruto, he has been chasing after Sakura and his dream of being Hokage... and it just suddenly poooffff, no more Sakura. Isn't it like a super JUMP. =o=

And Sakura haters, I don't mind if u hate her for her being annoying or a fangirl or whatever. But I don't get why u would say she's useless.. SHE IS NOT. I mean come on, give the girl a break. She comes from a CIVILIAN family, no kekkai genkai, unlike Uzumaki ( lots of chakra ), Uchiha ( Sharingan ), Hyuuga ( Byakugan ), Aburame ( Insects ), Inuzuka ( Dogs ), Yamanaka ( Mind ), Nara ( Shadow ). Do I need to freaking list on.? SHE DOESN"T HAVE ANY BASE. She works from a zero, from a complete sketch. 

Other than that, she's smart.! She answers her chunnin paper exam fast compare to other ninja. She realized there's a genjutsu placed on the stairway. Even when she's not that skilled in ninja fighting, she still protected her teammates. She set traps, she plans ahead. So what she needed help, Naruto and Sasuke needed help too, I don't see anyone calling them useless. During the VS tournament, she got par with Ino, the one that has a technique. If Sakura's useless, then what about Ino.? She has the mind technique but she still fails. ( I don't dislike Ino, so I'm sorry if this comes out in a wrong way )

Next, she fought with Akatsuki member too, Sasori. Yes, she had help from the grandma, but if she isn't smart enough to bring along the antidote that she made after SAVING Kankuro's life, even if the grandma's skill, they won't be able to win. Sakura learn from a scratch, Kakashi only taught her those simple basic ninja chakra control, while he taught Sasuke Chidori. Jiraiya went to taught Naruto, Sasuke went to Orochimaru, and Sakura learn under Tsunade. 

The last few chapters where the final war begins... Kishimoto even made few characters to compliment on Sakura. BUT you guys are still being ignorant and STILL saying she's useless. URGHHH.. what is wrong with you guys. She gets the Byakugou in 3 years while Shizune isn't able to. So, is Shizune more useless than Sakura.? No. Then why do you say Sakura's useless... Hashirama even say that Sakura's level might be even more than Tsunade's, and a few said that she has the ability to surpass Tsunade. SO TELL ME, is Tsunade useless.?!

She even manages to find out that Zetsu acting as Neji is a fraud. She didn't need Naruto to help her find that out, she didn't need Byakugan to see who's friend or foe that time. Tsunade and Sakura technically healed everyone in that damn war and you still say she's useless. She even save Naruto's life for god's sake. I can go on and on... But really, ship whatever pairings you want, but why even bash on Sakura that she's useless urgghhhhhh... Hinata and Sakura are such good friends and the VS war between Hinata and Sakura is just.. urghhhhh.. whyyyyyyy. 

I'm still disappointed in the pairings though... after all the NaruSaku momentsssssssssss and Sakura saving Naruto through CPR.. it didn't mean a thing... And after Karin saving Sasuke, Karin didn't appear anymore.. LOL.. 

they should just deflect from Konoha and make a new country. HAHAHAHAHA.. jk~

 

 

 

when people ask~