Kawaii

Kawaii is the name of my rabbit I've gotten when I was still in form 5. It was still a baby rabbit, like around few months old. She's really cute and she gets scared really really easily.

Every time I carried her, she gets all jumpy that I'm so scared I'll drop her. She's so fluffy like a fur ball, SO CUTE. Every time she pees or shit, she'll do it on her food bowl. I have no idea whyyyyy. Her legs will squat on the edge of the bowl and do her business. Similar to how female humans do, she did it on four legs. hahahahahaa. It's always so cute and amusing catching her doing that.

But then, she died. Yea... Kawaii died.

And everyone started to make a joke out of her death. Just because she's killed by Yuki, my dog.
But I don't get why her death is so amusing that they are able to make a joke about it.

And every time they do, I have to fake a smile because that's what society wants you to be.
A perfect actress.

Kawaii died. Kawaii died. She died.
I don't know what's so funny. I cried and cried because she left.
Because Yuki killed her.

I was mad at her at first. But then I realized it's not her fault. She's an animal.
The fault is in me. I shouldn't have gotten Kawaii.
I shouldn't have gotten her then she wouldn't die.
I should have been more alert.
I indirectly killed Kawaii.

And every now and then they would still pull Kawaii's death as a joke.
And I couldn't do anything about it.
A little of me died inside. I don't even know if there's anything left in me anymore.

Gomen ne, Kawaii... Gomenasai.