Yuki

Yuki is my dog's name. My dad got her when I was around form 4 or form 5. That time, she was around 9 months old and already looks huge. She's black in colour and she's a timid dog.
She barks all the time and gets scared easily and always very playful.

Every time when it heavy rains or thunder happens, she would whine and look through the sliding door. I would go there, accompany her. I'd sit on the floor and I sang. I sang songs, random songs to her to let her know I'm there. Even though I couldn't do much, and I never did anything much to her. I sat and accompany her through the rain and thunder. Usually I'm always alone with her at home. So most of the time when it heavy rains along with thunder, my house will trip and I would sit with her. She needs my constant patting because she's a spoilt brat. When I stopped patting her, she would turn and look at me as if she's afraid I would leave.

She always got complaint by my 2nd brother and mother. Mum would sometimes tease her in a playful manner and other times she would scold her.

Every time Yuki saw mum near her, she would jump on her. I never understand it though, and mum will be flustered and shouting and screaming. But Yuki always stopped and rarely jumped on me, probably scared of me or something. She's more obedient towards me than my mum, though she's more obedient towards my dad than me.

There's one time, I decided to play with her. I went out, she saw me. I make a funny face towards her and asked if she wanna play. She went to grab a toy and place in front of both of us. I wanted to take it, but she quickly took it away and ran. Then I got it, I went chasing her around the place. Hahahaha. She's so playful, I kept teasing her and at last, I got tired and told her I'm going back in and then she lay down in front of the door.

I didn't really blame her for what she did to Kawaii, it wasn't her fault. However, I admit that at first I was angry at her but not anymore. I understand because it's not her fault.

I bought a comb for her. She doesn't have a comb and her fur is always dropping everywhere whenever I pat her. So I bought her a comb.

But then, she died after 1 week I bought that comb.

She was a timid dog, she's afraid of fireworks. And it's chinese new year week. 

She died.

I'm still not sure if it's a good thing for her. Being in this family, it's complicated.

Then I dreamt of her. I dreamt of her running back home, through the gate and towards me. And there's black men trying to chase and capture her. She doesn't want to leave, she kept running away from them and brushing past me. But I couldn't move, I was stuck there. 

I was overwhelmed. First it was " she came back " then it was " why are they chasing her " , " run away Yuki " , " why couldn't I move " , " why didn't I do anything "

And I woke up crying.

I should've known. 

That morning before I left for college...

I went to look at her at the usual place...

But she's not there....

I couldn't call out her name that time...

Usually I do.

But I didn't...

I think because deep down I knew it'll happen one day...

I've always knew.

maybe one day, we'll meet again somewhere.

until then, rest well.